Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
