used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
