that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
