just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
