What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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