ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
