Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
