Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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