Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
