kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize