For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
