? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
