I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
