so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
