My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
