Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize