i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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