dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
