I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
