summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
