Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
