is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
