We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
