DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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