I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I party with great urgency now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
