your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize