can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
