This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize