He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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