I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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