so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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