You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
