I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
