it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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