it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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