At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
