so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
