rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
