What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
did i walk over a car last night?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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