i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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