You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
