I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
