so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
as a side note pls kill me
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