Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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