Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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