I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize