All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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