i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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