I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
