Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
