Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
