She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
