I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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