Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
