Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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