I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
