Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
