the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
