How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize