So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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