Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
