Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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