i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
