So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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