Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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